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30 sweet moments only parents have

November 20, 2015 / Family, Kids / 15 Comments

Ahhh parenting, it’s one of those amazing experiences where the highs are euphoric and the lows make you want to cry in a corner and hope it was all a bad dream. Let’s take a few moments today to celebrate all the victorious moments that can only be appreciated if you’re parent to a small human or two.

When the furby’s batteries run out.
When the kids are finally asleep …
And there’s wine in the fridge.
When the babysitter puts the kids to bed instead of you.
When you have a night with friends and it’s like the kids don’t exist (except for when you pull out your phone and scroll through the pics of them looking insanely cute that day).
When you have an hour to watch TV and there’s a new episode of Nashville on Hulu.
When you’re out the door early!
When you arrive anywhere on time and not disheveled.
When you go out minus the kids and your handbag is miniscule.
When you’re having a night with the ladies and can wear white pants.
When you land a morning spot for your kid in nursery school.
When you push the stroller to a train station and find there’s an elevator.
When the kid eats their entire meal without a “That’s yucky!”
When you pick up your kid from school and their lunchbox is empty.
When it’s Mother’s Day or Father’s Day and the kid brings home handprint artworks from school.
When you wake up the next morning and everyone is in the same bed they started the night in.
When you wake up and it’s 8am, not 2am, or 4am or 6am, but 8am!
Every time you drink coffee or strong black tea and the instant rush that results.
When you get a pedicure and no one screams at you for an entire hour, plus you can look at your phone guilt-free the entire time.
The rare times when you get something right and your kid beams at you instead of scowling. Bought the right sugar-free-but-still-tasty breakfast cereal today, yay!
When your kid says “Thank you” and “Your welcome” in public and you feel like your job is done.
The one night when your kid says they’ll put themselves to bed and you can go eat your dinner.
When you take your kid to see a show and they stay in their seat the entire time.
When you get off a long haul flight and the people in front turn around to say they didn’t even know there was a kid sitting there.
When your kid’s teacher says they’ve had a great day and you feel like everything’s going to be A-okay.
When your kid stands up for another at the playground, and you think your heart is going to burst with pride.
When you can say without a doubt that you’re done with toilet training for good.
When you celebrate your birthday doing something you want to do, like getting that pedicure.
When your kid says they love you and you melt into a puddle.
When your kid outs your favourite beverage and you laugh your ass off because your kid is so awesome you just can’t stand it. “I like milk, Daddy drinks coffee and Mommy likes wine!”

This article first appeared on MommyNearest.

Adventures in Parenting: This is FOUR

October 15, 2015 / Family, Kids / 2 Comments

I’m going to say it—age four has been the most fun age my daughter has turned thus far. Sure, I think the same thing every year (I was convinced three was the best!), but for the first time, I kind of wish I could freeze her at this amazingly beautiful age. It’s okay to want to treasure the wonder of four just a little bit more, right? Here are six of the highlights of having a four-year-old in the house:

1. All drama, all the time
While some of the drama is a bit much (like those even bigger tantrums now that are thrown), most of it is pretty entertaining. Everything is a big event to a four-year-old—a new toy, a surprise visit from the grandparents or a birthday party. I mean, is there anything else in life that can create such excitement in a small child like the prospect of games, cake and presents?

2. Singing and dancing
I can’t believe that the power of Frozen has lasted so long. This kid has been a devoted Elsa fan for almost two years now, and has perfected her “Let It Go” routine, complete with hand movements and dramatic exit. Our home is filled with songs, sung in the sweetest high pitched voice with just a touch of a lisp, and our guests are treated to impromptu musical performances and dance routines.

3. Imaginary play
Often she pretends to be Elsa (and I’m Anna), but her imagination takes her far from Disney stories as she creates amazing worlds with her dolls. The conversations she has with her dolls replicate those she hears around her—never have I been more aware that everything I say is falling onto very receptive ears.

4. Conversations had
Suddenly, there are actual conversations being had. Hilarious ones, such as “Who’s the boss of the family?” and “Mommy’s the boss!” to questions I don’t quite know how to answer (“Why do people eat animals?” and “What does dead mean?”).

5. Lack of self consciousness
Is there anything cuter than a naked little bottom dashing around the house? I absolutely love that at age four she is still happy to be a “nudie bum” and perform little butt wiggling dances with reckless abandon. While, of course, I know that time is coming to an end, if nothing else, I wish I could preserve her self confidence the way it is right now—before she starts to worry about how she looks and her body shape.

6. Joie de vivre
The simple joy of being alive is really what a four-year-old is about. Every single thing my daughter experiences is cause for amazement—whether it’s collecting sticks from the sidewalk or watching a caterpillar inch its way along a tree branch. Every day, I think to myself, “Wow, we could all learn a lot from a four-year-old’s sense of fun.” She’s entertained for hours by a cardboard box—it becomes a plane, a home and a rocket ship. There’s nothing like a four-year-old to teach you that you that “less is often more.”

This article was first published on MommyNearest.

36 Ways Kids Make it Impossible to Leave the House On Time

October 14, 2015 / Family, Kids / 18 Comments

Having a preschooler is like living with a tornado in human form. A non-stop whirlwind of enthusiasm, defiance and, let’s be honest, complete and utter craziness, getting out the door with your preschooler can be the second toughest part of the day (let’s not talk about bedtime just yet!). Here are 36 of the thoughts that run through my head when I’m trying to leave the house with my four-year-old. (*All names have been changed to protect late running parties!)

1. Where’s the child?

2. Where are her shoes?

3. Did I really dress her in that outfit? Oh wait, no, she did that herself.

4. Is it really important that I brush her hair?

5. I’m sure just shoving it in a ponytail will be fine. Voila! Messy chic!

6. Where’s a wipe, there’s breakfast on her chin.

7. How did cereal get so crusty in such a short time?

8. How on Earth can she still be hungry?

9. Fine, have a yogurt pouch. What do I care if your teeth rot.

10. I do care if your teeth rot. Here’s your toothbrush, now brush your teeth.

11. Still no shoes—can you go pick a pair?

12. No, sandals are not appropriate when it’s looking like snow.

13. You want to change your outfit again? No you can’t wear the Elsa costume.

14. Fine you can wear the Elsa crown and take the Elsa doll with you instead.

15. What about Anna? Why does Anna always get left out?

16. Personally, Anna is my favorite.

17. Crap, where has the child gone again?

18. Why is it when I need to make a phone call or go to the bathroom she refuses to play by herself, and yet when it’s time to leave the house, I find her playing quietly in her room?

19. Argh. I’m going to have to clean up all these toys again.

20. Or am I? Surely four is old enough to put away her own toys?

21. I really need a coffee.

22. Where’s my bag?

23. No snacks in the bag—rookie mistake. Where are the rice crackers, Goldfish and popcorn packets?

24. And the water bottle—better refill it quickly.

25. Do I have enough spare clothes and a pack of baby wipes?

26. When can I stop carrying snacks, water bottles and baby wipes with me everywhere I go?

27. I feel like a sherpa.

28. Coffee’s cold. Ice coffee it is!

29. Phone, jackets, scarves, hats, shoes, scooter, helmet, check.

30. Where’s the child? Get out of my perfumes!

31. Go to the potty! I know you need to go!

32. Where are my keys?

33. The dog. Crap. Literally.

34. We’re late. So so so so late.

35. That’s alright, Sandra* will be later than us.

36. Ok, we can do this! Where’s that coffee?

This article was first published on MommyNearest

9 Things Made Difficult By A Preschooler

May 14, 2015 / Family, Kids / 12 Comments

You’d think that by the time your baby had grown into a preschooler, life would get a bit easier. Unfortunately, those annoying strangers who used to helpfully say, “Just wait, it gets harder!” as you were frantically trying to quiet your screaming newborn baby might have been on to something. Perhaps life has not exactly gotten harder, but it certainly has turned into quite the battle of wits. Here are just a few challenges life with a preschooler presents.

1. Being on time
Have you ever noticed that despite your best efforts, you are always at least five minutes behind schedule with a preschooler in tow, if not more? I sure am. Even when I pack the night before, wake up in plenty of time and frantically spend a morning shepherding, cajoling and begging a certain small person to move it along, things always creep at a snail’s pace. Even pressing the elevator button takes an eternity. Speaking of buttons…

2. Pushing your buttons
Not only do you have someone who likes to push every elevator and door button known to man, they also like to push your emotional buttons too. As if you needed to feel even guiltier about going to work or drinks with friends! “But Mommeeeeeeee please don’t goooooo!” Gah!

3. Ownership of possessions
At one time it was your iPad, you phone, your jewelry and your knick knacks. Not any more. Now you are sharing custody of all of your objects with a very possessive preschooler and need to sneak them away if you want to use them after bedtime for yourself.

4. Sleeping in
I think the last time I slept in was during my pregnancy. Mornings where I get to lounge around, read a book or make breakfast in bed are a thing of the past (unless I want some unbridled enthusiasm and Disney Junior’s Octonauts with that).

5. Lying
Okay, so I know, lying is bad, but sometimes a little white lie can help expedite things—as long as your preschooler doesn’t expose you. For example: at the movies, where kids under three get in for free. The ticket seller asks how old my daughter is and I say she is almost three (when she was just over three). My daughter pipes up, “No I’m not, I’m THREE!”

6. Flying under the radar
I’m a reserved person by nature and don’t like drawing attention to myself. Life with a preschooler, however, is about being in the spotlight. A supermarket run will involve fairy wings over the Elsa dress, plus a tiara and wand, with fluttering steps the entire way. Once we are there, if there is, God forbid, some kind of stage or chair resembling a podium, the entertainment part of our shopping trip will commence, usually with a rousing rendition of, you guessed it, Let It Go.

7. An adult evening with friends
Miss three-and-a-half is usually asleep by 7:30pm, so occasionally instead of organizing a sitter we invite friends over for dinner. However, after our last disaster, I don’t think we will be doing it again for a while. Our daughter flat out refused to go to sleep until well after 9pm, by which stage we were all exhausted and ready to call it a night.

8. A relaxing vacation
We travel a lot as a family and, while I love these experiences, I certainly wouldn’t call any of these a “vacation.” They are active adventures where we explore new places and are constantly on the go, searching for the next park, playground or pool. Not a good book or pool-side martini in sight.

9. Being bored
I used to get bored a fair bit and feel like I had chunks of time to fill (hello Netflix!), but life with a preschooler is entertaining, stimulating, exciting and basically one giant non-stop adventure.

First published on Mommynearest.

Linking up with Bron.

Fear Of Missing Milestones

May 8, 2015 / Family, Kids / 10 Comments

Before my daughter was born I bought a pregnancy and baby book to fill in. And then found a bigger, better baby book, and then another that was birth to five years. Suddenly I had five different baby books, all staring at my from their spot on the shelf, judging me for forgetting to fill in their empty pages. Did I remember to write down the day of baby’s first smile? Her first tooth? The first time she had a bath, rolled over, sat up and danced a jig?

My half-assed attempt to record everything fell by the wayside when exhaustion reared its formidable head – which it did often. I could barely remember what day it was, let alone to write notes down in the baby books. And then, my fear of missing milestones (hence to be known as FOMM) kicked in, and anxiety forced me to try and write down and photograph every tiny detail in my young daughter’s life.

Turns out FOMM is a powerful motivator. Tormented by Pinterest and its lure of onesies with months counted off on them, I still persisted in my attempts to be the mum who does it all. I constantly questioned though, did I have a good enough plan to adequately document every single important moment of my child’s life? Apparently not, as, with my now three-year-old, I see blog posts and tutorials on hand prints taken every month from birth, and realise I’ve missed the boat. I don’t have any hand prints of my baby thus far. I didn’t video any of her birthday parties. I haven’t put together any scrapbooks or albums to celebrate her life thus far. Definitely no shadow boxes on the wall with outgrown baby shoes and locks of hair. In my role as keeper of her childhood memories, have I failed at my job already? Oh, FOMM, there you are, kicking me when I’m already down.

Then reality sinks in. This new phenomena of the need to make every single moment of your child’s life documentable and beautiful is a new one. The arranging of bedding and props for the perfect Instagramable moment, the casting of tiny hands and feet in bronze for the wall. There are no hand and foot prints on display in my parents’ home, no locks of hair, no family art projects on the walls. And do I wish there were? Honestly, no, I don’t. The truth is I’m far to concerned with looking forwards to dwell in my own past. So if we’re not documenting and photographing for the benefits of our kids, who are we going to this immense effort for?

The rise of social media platforms like Pinterest and blogs have created a new “keeping up with the Joneses”, but in this case, the “Jones family” is a crafty mum with too much time on their hands and loves posting pictures of her clever bento box lunch art. We share and comment on these images, blog posts and pins, marvel at the complexity and the cleverness, but deep down, feel our own lack of creativity and commitment to making our children’s memories magical.

Are we raising our children in a pastel pink shiny world where it’s normal to have parties that are “Pinterest-worthy” and have books and albums videos documenting every single breath they took? And would they want us to? Is FOMM stopping us from letting our kids enjoy just being kids, and keeping us, as parents, at a distance in order to capture these moments?

Are we doing our children favours by implying to them that they are so important that we dedicated ourselves to this documentation, this making of sandwiches in the shape of Hello Kitty to entice them to eat (at the same tie as broadcasting to the world what devoted and clever clogs we are)? I think not.
And yet. I am trapped in the cycle myself. Writing down cute things she says. Photographing every day. Pinning ideas for her next birthday party. Watching from the outside instead of playing, laughing and participating. Maybe tomorrow is a good day to start anew and make memories instead of just documenting them.

Linking up with Bron.

5 Lessons I’m Learning From My Preschooler

May 7, 2015 / Family, Kids / 15 Comments

I spend a lot of time teaching my preschooler the little things. The names of animals and flowers. The polite way to ask for something. I am her teacher in life as well as her caretaker. I realized the other day, however, that for all I am teaching my child, she is also teaching me a few things. It turns out that we have so much to learn from each other.

Be curious
My preschooler can literally spend an hour walking from our house to the supermarket three blocks away, engrossed by every single bug, flower, rock and crack in the pavement we encounter. “Why, Mommy?” is asked a thousand times a day. Why are the leaves falling off the trees? Why are the ants swarming? Why is there a puddle? Instead of rushing her to get our chores done, I’m trying to relax and go at her pace, and marvel in rediscovering what a weird and wonderful world we live in.

Make your own fun
I feel like I need constant stimulation and activities to have fun. Galleries, restaurants, movies. My preschooler loves to pick up sticks and pretend they are fairy wands. She can be entertained for hours with nothing more than a few bit of shrubbery and her imagination. When did we start to need so much “stuff” to just have fun?

Dancing like no one’s watching
My preschooler dances up and down the street. In shops and elevators. In restaurants and car parks. Whenever the mood strikes her, she busts a move and puts on her best arabesque for anyone who happens to be watching. She exudes so much joy in every move of her tiny body, and her lack of self consciousness is a delight to behold. Why should we care what people think of us (and our dancing!). We should be dancing in the streets if the mood takes, not caring if we’re a bit uncoordinated.

Sing like no-one’s listening
I used to love singing! Absolutely love it. Somewhere along the way though, it came to my attention that I was not as good a singer as I had thought, and I stopped singing out loud so as to not offend people with my off-key melodies. My daughter, however, doesn’t care if she’s hitting all the wrong notes when she belts out Wheels On The Bus. She doesn’t let what people think get in the way of doing what she loves. Can’t we all take a note out of her book and sing if it give us joy (even if we’re tone-deaf?).

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Women are the worst at criticizing the way we look. We’re never just happy with what we’ve got, we have to compare ourselves to how we think we should look. Taller, thinner, fitter, better nose, smoother hair. We wave off compliments and joke about how much we need to hit the gym. Our children, however, think we are the most beautiful things they have ever seen. They don’t notice our flaws, they just see the person who loves them more than anything, who is there to kiss their boo boos and hug them when they wake in the night with bad dreams. Preschoolers see their moms as powerful, strong, and beautiful, so why can’t we see ourselves this way, too?

Rock your own style
As we get older and more aware of the expectations of work and society, we tend to tone down our personal style and wear plainer clothes. I can’t imagine my preschooler in anything that could be called “plain”. Right now she is favouring tutus, glittery socks, bright blue Mary Janes and tiaras – with an Elsa braid or old lady bun. She dresses exactly how she feels and has so much fun with her outfits. She’s reminding me of the enjoyment I used to get when I dressed for fun rather than for function, and helping me bring my inner style back to the outside again.

This article was first published on MommyNearest.

5 Ways That Having a Sibling Bonds You

May 1, 2015 / Family / 15 Comments

Everyone has a story about their siblings. Usually it revolves around a time when they were feeling a bit homicidal and trying to kill or maim you. Despite near death experiences, you know your sibling really has your back like no one else does, and that no matter how much they tortured you as a child, that you will be in each other’s lives forever. Growing up together has a way of bonding you to another person in that no one else can ever break.

You did stupid stuff together
One of you was the mastermind behind ideas such as “Let’s string up a flying fox over the swimming pool”, and “Let’s ride around the house on our skateboards – on our knees!”, which resulted in broken teeth and limbs. But you all survived, and these stories have gone down in family legend, getting dragged out and retold every Christmas lunch after a few glasses of wine. These stories will be passed down to your children when they’re older, and they’ll be in awe of how wild you and your siblings were.

You tortured each other
Is there a family out there with kids who didn’t torture each other? My brother, for example, once dragged me around the living room floor by my foot, because I sat on “his” lounge chair. Yes. Siblings are the people in our lives on whom we take our feelings out on (often bad ones like this), in a way that there is no way they’d treat anyone else. You see your sibling’s raw emotions; uncivilized and unfiltered. Sure it’s not fun to be on the receiving end of it, but it also means that you’ve seen a side of this person that no one in their entire lives is likely to ever see but you.

You know each other’s secrets
Sharing a house with someone means, like it or not, they know things about you that you probably prefer that they didn’t. Your moustache that you bleech. His embarrassing tween crush. Her night braces that made her look like a robot. You’re vulnerable with each other in a way that you will never be with another person.

You were awkward together
The tweens and teen years are awful. You and your siblings dealt with it together, and emerged as normal looking people on the other side. They’ve seen you at your dorkiest and still love you.

You were parented together
Having a sibling gives you an ally against your parents. It’s a lot harder for them to say no when there are two or more of you ganging up against them wanting to go out for ice cream. Your ally in childhood is also going to be your go-to person when you’re an adult. You can laugh over some of your parents’ “interesting” forms of parenting (“You let me ride a pony in a paddock with dogs running underfoot, and the neighbours on BMX bikes zooming past – really?!”) and share amazement that you’re still alive to tell the story.

You’ve always got each other
It’s awful to think about, but later in life, when your parents aren’t around anymore, your siblings are going to be the last links to the family you were born into. They’re going to be the keepers of your childhood memories, the ones who drop over just to do nothing together, the people who will love you to the end, no matter what. Fights are forgotten, all is forgiven, as family is always the most important thing.

This article first appeared on MommyNearest.com.

Linking up with Sonia.

30 Reasons We Love Nap Time

April 7, 2015 / Family, Kids / 0 comment

Naps are the BEST. Seriously, there is nothing better than a happily napping child. Who knew that you could accomplish so much in such a short period? The benefits of naps are almost endless. My favourites include:

You can check your email.
You can update your Facebook.
You can make breakfast/lunch/dinner.
You can catch up on The Bachelor.
You can take a nap too.
You can make that urgent phone call you’ve needed to make all morning.
You can do 30 mins of home yoga.
You can read a book.
You can vacuum or clean up the house.
You can fold that giant pile of laundry.
You can write a blog post (like this one!).
You can download the photos from your phone and back them up.
You can give yourself a mani/pedi.
You can bake cookies for afternoon tea.
You can clean out your wardrobe.
You can drink your coffee while it’s hot.
You can take a long shower.
You can use the bathroom uninterrupted.
You can Skype a friend.
You can do your hair and make up.
You can shop online.
You can eat a cupcake without sharing it.
You can share a photo of them asleep on Instagram.
You can play Candy Crush on your phone.
You can unpack the dishwasher.
You can meditate.
You can clean all the crap you don’t need out of your handbag.
You can sit down and do absolutely nothing.

And the two very best things about naps:

Your child wakes up happy and smiley.
The rest of the day is a breeze.

This article was first published on MommyNearest.

30 Ways To Show Your Child You Love Them

April 1, 2015 / Family, Kids / 22 Comments

Some days it seems like you’re just holding everything together. Rushing to get the kids to school on time, rushing to get to work. Rushing home and hurriedly cooking dinner, then rushing through the bath and bed routine. That’s just the way life goes sometimes. If you’re time poor like most of us are, and want to show your child how much you love them, here are 30 little ways that can be incorporated into your day with almost zero effort.

Give your child kisses when they wake up.
Read an extra book before bedtime.
If you get home at night too late for books, read a book at breakfast instead.
If your child can read, put a note in their lunch box, that says, “Have fun today! Love you!”
Give big hugs and kisses before you leave.
Ask what their favourite part of the day was.
Ask what the hardest part of the day was, too.
When your child is desperate for your attention, drop what you’re doing and give it to them.
Look them in the eyes.
Stay in their room just a few minutes longer than usual at bedtime.
Notice something they’ve done right: “Thank you for putting your toys away, I really appreciate it.”
Cook together – let your child help you make dinner if you’re not the baking kind.
No matter how bad your day was, or how annoyed you are at your child, never go to bed angry, or let your child go to bed feeling that you’re angry with them.
Compliment your child on something they do: “I really love listening to you sing. You sing so beautifully”.
Try to get ready ahead of your schedule so you can cut out the “hurry ups” and let the child take their own time walking down the street, getting in the car, picking a few flowers along the way.
Really listen to what your child is saying, without interrupting.
Make your child feel like their opinion matters by asking what they think.
Proudly display their artwork at home.
Don’t talk about them, especially their flaws, in front of them.
After you have an argument, give them a big hug and tell them it’s ok.
Follow through on any promises you make.
Play with your child, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
Say “yes” instead of no.
Give your child your full attention when you’re together.
Think of a fun activity to do together on the weekend, even if it’s something as simple as going to a new playground together.
Smile at your child.
Be the last to let go of hugs.
Ask to hold their hand.
Try to see their point of view.
Tell them you love them. Every single day.

This article was first published on MommyNearest.

Image by Raquel Frechette.

Linking up with Grace.

10 Unrealistic Expectations I Had About Being A Parent

December 8, 2014 / Family, Kids / 16 Comments

Before my baby was born I had spent minimal time around other people’s kids. I tended to see their sweet, sleeping babies at picnics, and happily held their infants while they were smiling or snoozing, then handed them back if they started fussing.

It’s no surprise then that when I had my own baby I was in for a rude awakening of what life as a parent was really like. Here are a few of the unrealistic expectations I had about parenting—and the truth about life as it actually ended up.

1. Baby would sleep through the night after a few weeks

I actually thought that after a few initial weeks—maybe up to three months max—my baby would just go to sleep on her own and sleep through the night. Baby has now turned three and is still waking up during the night several times a week. Ouch.

2. Sleep training would magically work forever

I attempted to sleep train my infant at 10 months when my husband and I were at breaking point. While we were initially successful, a few months later she was back to her old evening habits. It turns out that infants, toddlers and preschoolers wake up for a variety of reasons, even if you sleep train them. Our nights are now awoken by bad dreams, wanting milk and just a few “no reasons” for good measure.

3. I’d fit back in my old jeans a few weeks later

I’m pretty sure I remember a friend saying they walked out of the hospital in their pre-pregnancy jeans. I’ve clearly not spoken to them since as my own experience was very different. Despite eating carefully and exercising continually during pregnancy, I was still carrying a lot of extra weight when I left the hospital, and continued to carry this extra weight for the entire following year.

4. Breastfeeding would melt away the pounds

While breastfeeding did indeed burn extra calories, I was also consuming extra calories to keep up the milk supply. While some moms looked super skinny after only a few weeks post birth, I continued to look chubby even while I was breastfeeding around the clock. Those daily bagels with cream cheese did not help, no matter how tasty they were, and it was only a change to a healthier diet removed the extra baby weight.

5. I’d get back into my old exercise routine

I had big dreams that after the first six months or so, I would get back into the sports I loved to play pre-baby with a vengeance. I had neglected to realize how exhausted I’d be from being up all night with the baby, and from entire days spent strolling, rocking, swaying and soothing. Even now, with my baby as a pre schooler, I’m still so tired at the end of a day of chasing her around, begging her to go potty and teaching her playground etiquette/road safety rules/table manners that I am desperate to just sit on my ass on the couch and eat ice cream by my self. I am starting to get back into yoga again and we are exercising as a family with bike riding on weekends, so I’m hopeful that I will be fit again with a new routine.

6. Parenting would get easier

Even though hateful people would smugly say to me in the street, when I was frantically rocking my screaming infant, “Oh, it only gets harder!” (um, thank you?), I was still hopeful that once I passed the crazy newborn stage things would get easier. I have to say, that having such a difficult baby who suffered from reflux made our baby stage a lot harder than it should have been, so while things did get a bit easier once the reflux was outgrown, a whole heap of new challenges popped up to keep us on our toes. Tantrums. Defiance. Fussy eating. Toilet training.

7. I’d be fine going straight back to work

I honestly thought I would take maternity leave and then happily leave my baby in daycare and return to my old career path, with not a care in the world. Instead, I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving her in full-time care, so I’ve been working freelance where possible, and feeling guilty (there it is, the mom guilt!) for any time I spend away from her and she’s in daycare.

8. I’d know what to do with a baby

All the parents I knew pre-baby looked so confident, toting around their babies, bringing them to weddings in their car seats where they slept through the reception, that I was sure it would be a breeze. And yet, when we were leaving the hospital, it dawned on me that I had no idea what to do with this baby. How could these medical professionals let me take home such a fragile creature, without making sure I was going to be a capable parent? How would I know what to do when she cried? How hot should her bath be? Should I use special wipes with no chemicals in them?

9. Potty training would take five days

There’s been so much hoopla about the five-day (and even three-day!) potty training method that I actually thought it would only take me five days. Try six months on-and-off and still going. With poo phobia, not wanting to stop playing to go to the bathroom and a stubborn temperament, it’s taking a whole lot longer than I could have possibly anticipated.

10. Our bond would be instant

When I was handed my baby in the hospital, I was so traumatized by the birth that I felt emotionally numb. I expected a flooding of love and happiness, but instead felt nothing but pain and exhaustion. What I didn’t know was that not all bonds between Mum and baby are formed instantly, and that it’s normal if they start slow and get stronger over time. While in the beginning I worried that I didn’t feel enough affection for my baby, over time I realised that my heart had been slowly and constantly filling with little bits of love, until one day I discovered that it was so completely full with love for my child that it felt like it was about to explode.

What unrealistic expectations did you have about what parenthood would be like?

This article first appeared on Mommynearest.com