I like comfy clothes. Ones I can take a deep breath in and let my ribcage expand to take in the fresh Sydney air on Cityrail every morning. Will I be sitting alone in my unfashionable loose clothing in the not-too-distant future? Could be! The Sydney Morning Herald recently published an article heralding the return of the corset.

According to the The SMH, corsets have gone mainstream. Corsets are made of up to 10 separate, stiffened sections. “Each section or panel is also ‘boned’, meaning it is separated from the next by spiral steel rods sewn into the structure.” Corset-wearing enthusiasts such as Janet Coath, 22, sing their praise, with comments such as “They’re for people who like to look like people, more than people who look like grasshoppers”.

According to Wikepedia, there are numerous health disadvantages to wearing a corset that modern-day corset revivalists might want to consider, such as Glénard’s disease, “a common illness caused by prolonged corset use. It is characterized by lack of abdominal muscle tone and visceral displacement. Wearing tight-laced corsets over a long period of time may cause the lower ribs (floating ribs) to become deformed and pushed inwards. This can lead to organ failure, dehydration, or broken ribs”.

No wonder men think women are stupid for conforming to fashion. What person in their right mind would do this to their body? And what does it say about women that they want to return to the days of being tied into binding clothing that results in the above problems? I’m not even going to go into the psychological implications of corsets – I think I’ve said enough. Needless to say, there will be no corsets for this grasshopper.