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I honestly didn’t think motherhood would be so emotionally hard. Pre-kid, I imagined I would pop out my little one and then get back to my regular daily life—just with a sidekick in tow. What I didn’t imagine was all the second guessing I would be doing about my own mothering skills. I’m constantly obsessing that I’m not doing the right thing and always assume I’m falling short of what I want to be, which is a really great parent. Here are 10 worries I currently have about my parenting:

1. Is she having too much TV/iPad time?

I’m sure the fact that I’m giving her any TV or screen time is bad. She knows all the words to the Barney and Friends songs and is now onto Strawberry Shortcake.

2. Is she eating enough nutrients?

Actually, she won’t eat most things. Her diet is basically white pasta (no sauce), eggs, fruit and toast. The only vegetable she’ll eat is corn on the cob.

3. Is she okay at daycare?

I hate leaving my daughter with strangers and daycare is no exception. While I’ve done the best I could to choose a reputable facility, I still worry constantly over whether it’s the right place for her.

4. Is she getting enough sleep?

My child has been a bad sleeper since birth. At age three she still wakes up most nights. I’m exhausted and I worry about how tired my daughter must be! How can I help her to get the sleep she needs so she’s not rubbing her eyes all day?

5. Does she have too many toys?

Have I spoiled her with too much ‘stuff’? I don’t know, but I know I’m always feeling insecure about it.

6. Does she need siblings?

My husband and I are 99.9% sure that we’re happy with our single child, but am I doing her a disservice by making her an only child?

7. Am I sending the right message?

When I hear the same words I’ve spoken offhand repeated by her little chirping voice I resolve over and over again to be careful what I say around her. I want my daughter to believe she is strong and amazing and can do anything. The thought of my careless words destroying her self-esteem kills me.

8. Am I setting a good example?

I try, really I do, but curse words sometimes come out and all kinds of thoughtless other things that I really shouldn’t be saying around someone who is a sponge and absorbs everything I say.

9. Do I yell too much?

I’m sure the answer to this is yes and I hate it.

10. Am I being patient enough?

I’m an impatient person at the best of times. I’m trying so hard to be more patient with this tiny person sharing my life. I know I say “quick quick, we’re running late!” too often. We need more days with slow footpath ambling, pointing out spider-webs and picking up fallen leaves. These are the happy days that my child loves, the moments she tells her daddy about when we get home.

This article first appeared on Mommynearest.com