I honestly didn’t think motherhood would be so emotionally hard. Pre-kid, I imagined I would pop out my little one and then get back to my regular daily life—just with a sidekick in tow. What I didn’t imagine was all the second guessing I would be doing about my own mothering skills. I’m constantly obsessing that I’m not doing the right thing and always assume I’m falling short of what I want to be, which is a really great parent. Here are 10 worries I currently have about my parenting:
1. Is she having too much TV/iPad time?
I’m sure the fact that I’m giving her any TV or screen time is bad. She knows all the words to the Barney and Friends songs and is now onto Strawberry Shortcake.
2. Is she eating enough nutrients?
Actually, she won’t eat most things. Her diet is basically white pasta (no sauce), eggs, fruit and toast. The only vegetable she’ll eat is corn on the cob.
3. Is she okay at daycare?
I hate leaving my daughter with strangers and daycare is no exception. While I’ve done the best I could to choose a reputable facility, I still worry constantly over whether it’s the right place for her.
4. Is she getting enough sleep?
My child has been a bad sleeper since birth. At age three she still wakes up most nights. I’m exhausted and I worry about how tired my daughter must be! How can I help her to get the sleep she needs so she’s not rubbing her eyes all day?
5. Does she have too many toys?
Have I spoiled her with too much ‘stuff’? I don’t know, but I know I’m always feeling insecure about it.
6. Does she need siblings?
My husband and I are 99.9% sure that we’re happy with our single child, but am I doing her a disservice by making her an only child?
7. Am I sending the right message?
When I hear the same words I’ve spoken offhand repeated by her little chirping voice I resolve over and over again to be careful what I say around her. I want my daughter to believe she is strong and amazing and can do anything. The thought of my careless words destroying her self-esteem kills me.
8. Am I setting a good example?
I try, really I do, but curse words sometimes come out and all kinds of thoughtless other things that I really shouldn’t be saying around someone who is a sponge and absorbs everything I say.
9. Do I yell too much?
I’m sure the answer to this is yes and I hate it.
10. Am I being patient enough?
I’m an impatient person at the best of times. I’m trying so hard to be more patient with this tiny person sharing my life. I know I say “quick quick, we’re running late!” too often. We need more days with slow footpath ambling, pointing out spider-webs and picking up fallen leaves. These are the happy days that my child loves, the moments she tells her daddy about when we get home.
This article first appeared on Mommynearest.com
Christine…..this moved me and resonated because my son just started school and I’m beating myself up that I’m not there every day at 2.30 to pick him up. My comments to you are easier to give to you than too myself but clearly that is part of the problem.
The fact that you are aware of these things and are conscious of the impact of your actions have on her put you in the Good Mum category for me.
Make sure you take the time to think about all the good things you do too. That’s another skill you want to role model to her….not to beat herself up too much.
We all just try our best man.
Oh Mel, I don’t know if this will make you feel better or not, but I’m there for Cheese at 3 to pick her up and she couldn’t care less that I’m there, she just wants to play or have a snack! We definitely put too much pressure on ourselves, and I honestly think our kids don’t care anywhere near as much about these things as we do.
xx
It’s as if you’re reading my mind – I guess it just goes to show that no matter where you are or who you are, we all have the same kind of worries. But as Melanie’s comment says, I hope the fact I’m thinking about it and trying to do better is a good sign rather than coasting through assuming it’s all fine.
Thank you Cathy. Everyone I know with kids seem to be so together and I feel like this mess who doesn’t know what they’re doing in comparison. I think deep down perhaps we all feel like that! Thank you so much for your comment – I definitely think that by being conscious of wanting to do better that it will help us actually be better 🙂
The only one I worry about is the food thing with my youngest. He somehow manages to survive on jam sandwiches, ham and Vita Gummies. Sigh.
How do they do that? Some days Cheese basically subsists on Cheerios and toast. Tres nutritious.
Thank god for vita gummies. I’ve just started shoving them into my 2yo and he seems to be getting sick less often!
I’ve found the Blackmores vitamins are great too – they have iron too so great for vegetarians like us. Praise be for vitamins from something other than actual vegetables.
Is she happy? I’m guessing the answer is yes so stop beating yourself up about all the little things. Sounds like you are an awesome mother to me and the fact that you have her best interests at heart and in the forefront of your mind just confirms this.
Relax, enjoy your little girl, be happy and just keep going!
Thanks so much Malinda 🙂 Yes she is generally pretty happy, so hopefully I’m doing something right! Thank you for dropping by the site 🙂
Oh I think I ponder these same questions all the time! Just the fact that you are asking these questions shows you are a great mum as you obviously care so much for your daughter. Popping over from the Digital Parents Blog Carnival.
Hi Erika, Thanks so much for dropping by and for your kind words. I do hope I’m doing a good job 🙂
LOL this sounds just like me, I worry all the time about everything. My mom told me a while back that having doubt is good, it means you are questioning yourself. You are always striving to be a better mom. There is no perfect mother, no such thing. Just a mom that tries to be the best she can be 🙂
Thanks so much Lynne. Your mum sounds like a very wise lady. 🙂