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I’m Not The Fun Parent

/ Cheese, Family, Kids / 4 Comments

I’m pretty fun, right? I mean, I like to have fun, and do fun things. And I’m funny! Well, in my own head, anyway.

Before having my toddler, I imagined how much FUN we would have together. I pictured it as a second childhood – playing with dolls, stickers, drawing, art projects, dance parties in the living room.

What’s become apparent of late is that I am not, in fact, a fun playmate for a toddler. I’m not silly, or goofy, and don’t think of playing monster games like mu husband does. My husband, it turns out, is the fun parent. He’s goofy and silly, he plays catch and chase, and roars like a bear, sending Cheese into fits of giggles. He is, in fact, not dissimilar to a toddler.

I’ve learned that I like to watch my child in play. I love seeing her eyes light up, her cheeky smile, her little head that is always a split second behind the rest of her body as she gallops along like a pony.

I enjoy watching her long eyelashes darken, her limbs lengthen, her hair grow into tight corkscrew curls.

I’m the parent who observes, documents, photographs. The one who makes sure she’s at school on time. That she has her hair tied out of her eyes, and is wearing weather-appropriate clothes. I’m the one who plans her meals, who gets her feet measured and takes her to the dentist. But I’m not the fun one.

I’m also the one who notices scrapes and bruises, who has Hello Kitty bandaids at the ready, who comforts and soothes and knows how to bring down a fever. I’m the one who finds new books that will teach about sharing and table manners, who finds puzzles at the right level to challenge her at each age, who can’t resist splurging on the cutest pair of tights for a hipster Brooklyn toddler. I’m the parent behind the scenes, but equal in the amount I love my child.

I cede any hopes of being “fun” to my husband for the time being. I hope that as she grows into a little girl with interests of her own that I can share in her world and enjoy the things she enjoys. I hope she’ll find me, if not “fun”, then loving, understanding and interesting. I hope I can teach her about the world, introduce her to new and amazing things, like how to take a great photograph, and help her navigate life as she grows and grows and grows.

19 Things About Me Right Now

/ Family / 0 comment

1. I think my purpose in life has something to do with animals. I’m just not sure in what way yet.
2. I’d wanted to be vegetarian for a long time, but didn’t think I could do it. A year and a bit ago I stopped eating meat completely – it was one of the best changes I’ve made in my life and one that I’m the most proud of doing and sticking to. I used to feel guilty every time I ate meat and now I can eat and feel happy.
3. Finding Alec was the most unexpected surprise in my life so far. I never thought I would find someone who was such a perfect match for me.
4. Most of my closest friends are those I’ve known the longest – since the first year of high school or even earlier. I am fiercely loyal to friends but sometimes expect too much back in return.
5. I constantly feel like I never accomplish anything. I have several projects on the way at all times and as a result nothing ever gets finished properly.
6. I want to work at the RSPCA or WIRES but am scared I won’t be able to handle the sadness that would come with the job.
7. I saved the life of our Golden Retriever when I was about 10. She was choking on a stick – I reached into her mouth, down her throat and pulled it out without thinking about it twice. Nowadays I’m not sure if I would do the same, or just stand by and panic.
8. I worry incessantly about things like Am I living my life to the fullest? Have I wasted precious time? I also worry constantly about death – mine, my parents’, my dogs’, Alecs’ and animals all over the world.
9. My dream job would be to be an animal photographer working on National Geographic.
10. I have little empathy for people unless I know them, but an infinite amount for animals.
11. People think I talk way too much. I also have a constant internal monologue always going, so people should count themselves lucky it stays internal, or my talking volume would be tripled.
12. I love chocolate with a reverence that’s not quite right. I love discovering new chocolate cafes everywhere I go and inhaling everything I can on the menu.
13. White chocolate disgusts me. It should not be called chocolate, ok?
14. I love traveling. I dream of the places I haven’t seen yet – most of them have exotic animals I want to see in the wild. Top of my list is Africa and Antarctica so I can see the penguins.
15. My mood swings have prompted Alec to call me the Hulk. A call of “Hulk smash!” when I’m in a crappy mood invariably makes me laugh at myself and get over it.
16. I’ve only lived in Sydney Australia – I really want to live in another country for a period of time but will always want to return to Sydney as it’s where I feel at home and happy.
17. I’m terrified of aging. I’m scared of my body not doing what I want it to do anymore and of becoming physically unable to do all the things I enjoy. This is one reason I throw myself into too many things at once, to make the most of the time I have.
18. When I was younger all I wanted to do was dance. It’s been a life-long passion – dancing myself, plus anything to do with dance – photography, movies, books. I also find myself busting a move or two on the street when I hear bits of a song that I like, or on the train when I’m listening to my iPhone.
19. I’ve recently discovered that I love pole dancing. It makes me feel strong and femanine at the same time.
20.