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sleep

The 30 steps it takes to get a preschooler to sleep

The 30 steps it takes to get a preschooler to sleep - christineknight.me

When bedtime rolls around each night, my husband and I draw straws to see whose turn it is to battle our biggest war of the day – the epic fight to get our preschooler to sleep. The losing party quietly celebrates by cooking dinner in peace, while the winner uses all their patience to weather the next 30 steps without losing their mind.

  1. Bath time! The only part of the night that doesn’t come with a battle. It is not, as described by many an article a “relaxing, winding down part of the evening” however, as it actually amps our child up even more. At least she plays happily with her toys in the bath, and washes without a fuss.
  2. Dry down. The child gets that bit more hyper and runs around the house naked, begging not to have her hair combed.
  3. Child is subdued/bribed and taken back to her room, dripping wet where she may or may not agree to her hair being brushed.
  4. Last potty before bed. “I DON’T NEED TO GO POTTY!”
  5. Pyjamas on.
  6. Time for books. “It’s super late, please choose short books.”
  7. “No, Hello Ruby is NOT a short book …”
  8. The most peaceful part of the night commences. Book time is glorious.
  9. Books away, chaos ensues. And by chaos, I mean trampolining off the bed and out the door.
  10. Time for a last drink of milk and brushing of teeth. “I need to brush my teeth so germs don’t make them fall out.” There, she does listen!
  11. We pretend it’s going to be easy for her to fall asleep. I tuck her in, kiss her cute cheeks and whisper “I love you!”. Perching on the bottom of the bed, this is the pivotal moment where most nights start to go downhill.
  12. “Mama, I’m not tired. I want to play.” Yep, it’s going to be one of those nights.
  13. The legs start vibrating under the doona and her eyes are wide open.
  14. “More milk!”
  15. “More COLD milk.” GEEEEEZ.
  16. “Sing a song for me, Mama!” A hundred rounds of Goodnight, Sweetheart later and the only result is I’ve got a sore throat.
  17. “I need to go potty!” What a surprise.
  18. “More milk!”
  19. “I need a Daddy hug!”
  20. “I can’t find Dolly!”
  21. “My tummy’s rumbly!” “Here, have a banana.”
  22. “What are we doing tomorrow, Mommy?” “School!” “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
  23. “I’m cold, can you pull up my covers?”
  24. “I’m HOT, so HOT!” Air conditioner, on.
  25. “I don’t need Dolly.”
  26. “I do need Dolly!”
  27. “I want Daddy, not Mommy!” A well-known play, the last minute switch. The last line of defense.
  28. Legs stop vibrating and kicking, and the head finally rests on the pillow. The battle is slowly coming to a close.
  29. A little voice softly sings to herself. “Baby you’re a firework, come on show them what you’re worth!”
  30. The tiny voice gets quieter and the words become mumbled. The eyes slowly droop and her breathing gets heavy. Breathe a sigh of relief, the bedtime battle is over for another night.

This article first appeared on MommyNearest.

70 Signs You’re A Sleep Deprived Parent

70 Signs You're A Sleep Deprived Parent #family #parenting #kids via christineknight.me

We’ve all been there—some of us are there right now. You’re tired and on the verge of collapsing. Everything is a little fuzzy. You probably already know that you’re a sleep deprived parent. But just in case you aren’t 100% sure, here are some of the ways you can tell you need a good night’s sleep.

1. You put the milk in the cupboard.

2. You put a teabag in a cup to steep and discover it the next day.

3. You don’t know what day of the week it is.

4. You go to the kitchen to get something out of a drawer and by the time you get there you’ve forgotten what you needed.

5. Your kid is running around with no undies on because you forgot to give them a fresh pair after their last accident.

6. When you roll out of bed, heaven help anyone who tries to talk to you before you get your first hit of caffeine.

7. You made coffee with cold water because you forgot to boil the kettle.

8. You find yourself napping at work.

9. You mistake your hairspray for deodorant.

10. You wash your hair with body wash.

11. You keep signing forms with your maiden name even though you changed it when you got married more than two years ago.

12. You try to put the bread away but end up putting paper bags into plastic bags and forget the bread entirely.

13. You’re calling the children by the pet’s name and vice versa.

14. You make your child a cheese sandwich, put it in the fridge and give your child a giant block of cheese instead.

15. You walked away from the ATM without taking your money.

16. You stop at the green lights while driving.

17. You look everywhere for your sunglasses that are perched on your head.

18. You find cartons of milk in the freezer from who knows how long ago.

19. You pour mouthwash into your contact lens case instead of saline.

20. You find your watch in the crisper.

21. You give the kids “top and tail” wipe downs at night to avoid bath time drama.

22. Your phone is always missing, usually turning up in the fridge.

23. You try to plug the phone charger into the baby instead of the phone.

24. You put cat food into your salad instead of tuna.

25. You find yourself spitting toothpaste straight onto the floor instead of the sink while brushing your teeth.

26. You make your kids dinner earlier so that you can trick them to go to bed earlier.

27. You make forts in the living room so the kids can play by themselves and you can lay on the cushions and still supervise with one eye open.

28. If you have a newborn in particular, you haven’t washed or changed your clothes (except undies) for over a week.

29. You put Desitin on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste.

30. You find your umbrella in the fridge.

31. While holding your baby, you ask your spouse where the baby is.

32. You wash your hands with moisturizer.

33. You lose your keys, cups, debit card and find them all in the trash. At least you know where to look when you “lose” things!

34. You have trouble making a cup of tea—you make it with no water, or make a cup then put in the fridge (leaving the milk on the counter) or you make a cup of tea minus the tea.

35. You roll on insect repellent instead of deodorant.

36. During the night, you roll over in bed to pat and shush your husband.

37. You walked out of the house all “done up” with make up, nice hair and a nice dress, but wearing fluffy pink Ugg boots.

38. You give the baby a scoop of cereal and a scoop of coffee for breakfast.

39. You wear your T-shirts inside out.

40. You sign an email with “xxxxx” to your boss.

41. You pour milk into the coffee machine tank.

42. You fall asleep standing up while rocking the baby to sleep.

43. You try to answer the phone with the TV remote.

44. You sleep in the same clothes you wore during the day and just stay in them them next day because hey, you’re already dressed, right?

45. You ask a question and forget the answer the moment it was given and have to repeat the question.

46. You want to call your friends at 6am. You’ve been up since 4am with the baby after all, so 6am seems like a decent time to call.

47. You lie down to “play” with the baby but you’re secretly having a two-second power nap before getting hit with a toy.

48. You put your newborn’s diaper on the toddler.

49. You catch the train home from work and then remember that you drove to work that day.

50. You turn up to your child’s “meet the teacher” appointment…a week early.

51. You put cayenne pepper on your cereal instead of cinnamon.

52. You try to open your front door using the car keys.

53. You wash your face twice because you can’t remember if you washed it the first time.

54. You put your undies on inside out or backwards.

55. You answer your phone when the baby’s toy one rings in the stroller.

56. You find a pair of undies in your hair that you mistook for a scrunchie.

57. Strangers stop you in the street to tell you your dress is on backwards/tucked into your underpants.

58. You’ve left the house in very wrong shoes.

59. You cracked an egg into the garbage bin and put the shell in the pan.

60. You’ve poured your smoothie/coffee/wine into a sippy cup.

61. You step into the shower in your pajamas.

62. You rock the cart at the supermarket when you’re there without your baby. And sometimes, it’s not even your own cart, but a stranger’s cart that you’ve accidentally walked off with.

63. You put salt in your coffee instead of sugar.

64. You microwave your iPhone instead of a heat pack.

65. You book your child into classes in the wrong borough.

66. You catch the train to work on a Saturday.

67. You roll insect repellant onto your face instead of sunscreen.

68. You forget your ATM pin number that you’ve had for 20 years.

69. You tell strangers your baby’s name is Justin when they ask (when in fact, it’s actually Jonathan).

70. You try to fold the stroller down with the baby still inside it.

This article was first published on MommyNearest.

A Day In The Life Of A Sleep-Despising Toddler

A Day In The Life Of A Sleep Despising Toddler via akissgoodnight.co

We had a rocky start to sleep with our newborn, thanks to silent reflux, which plagued our family’s first year together. At 10 months we sleep trained, desperate to stop getting up three times a night with the baby. And for a few, sweet months, we had our first full nights of sleep in almost a year. Sadly, however, it didn’t last. Teeth came in. Sickness took over. Our toddler learned to climb out of her crib, and then developed a fear of the door being closed.

And so, here we are, with a 2.5 year old toddler who still wakes up several times a night. To say we are sleep deprived is an understatement. I’d use words like “zombie” and “brain dead”.

Most people we know have babies and kids who sleep in their beds for the whole night, maybe occasionally waking up here and there. I just don’t understand how we ended up with a child who just despises sleep so much (sleep is so wonderful! why don’t she do more of it?!).

So here is a day in our lives, with the worst sleeping kid of all time.

6:30am: E wakes up, still tired but chirping “it’s not night any more!”. If I don’t hear her calling she will walk into the bedroom, grab my face in her hands and yell “mummy wake up!”.

6:45am – 8am: Drink copious amounts of caffeine to wake up while sticking the child in front of the iPad and a huge bowl of Cheerios and milk. I take morning duty so my husband can get a few hours sleep after being up all night with her.

8am – 12pm: Run errands or work while Eloise is at school two days a week. The days she is at school I really want to nap and have to force myself to write the articles I’ve been assigned.

12pm – 2pm: Nap time. I know this, but apparently my toddler does not agree. I either lie down next to her on the floor and beg her to sleep until one of us gives up, or put her in the stroller and walk around the neighborhood for two hours while she naps.

2pm – 7:30pm: Afternoon fun. Playdates, followed by dinner, bath and an attempt to put the child to bed.

8:30pm: It’s clear that the child is still awake, either singing in her bed (preferable), or coming out to the living room to request “more milk” even though her milk bottle is full.

9pm-9:30pm. The visits and talking finally stop and she’s drifted off into peaceful slumber.

10:30pm-12am: She wakes up at least once – I prefer it when I’m awake as it’s hard to go back to sleep when I’ve just fallen into a coma. Either my husband or I cajole/beg/threaten her until she goes back to sleep, which might take anywhere from 10 minutes to two hours.

12am – 6:30am: My husband is on night waking duty. On an average night, she will wake up hopefully only one more time. Several nights a week she will be up at least two more times and takes forever to go back to sleep again. My husband is destroyed. I wake every time he does but thankfully get to stay in bed and go back to sleep.

6:30am: Aaaaaaand she’s up! And it all starts all over again.

Friends with kids who also hate to sleep – it does get better, right? Surely there will come the day where I have to force her to get out of bed? I’m picturing immense payback in her teens – cheerily waking her every morning at 5am, and then dropping her off at school in my pjs with bed hair.