My mum warned me that once my child started talking, that I’d regret wanting her to talk so much as from then on, the talking never stops. Of course, I didn’t listen, and was so desperate for little Cheese to start talking. Over our summer visit to Australia, her speech finally exploded. Somethings are insanely cute, like “I love you Mummy!”, “You’re my best friend”, “Tulips are Mummy’s favourite!” (they are!), “I’ll be right back!” (so not true, she’s never right back). Others, not so cute, like “Calm down Mummy!”, or “Just stop it, Mummy!”. Ugh.
Worst of all though, is the whining. I was worried that age two would bring tantrums. Thankfully, no tantrums, but OH MY GOD, THE WHINING! Some days there are none, but some days, it’s literally non-stop all day long.
Here are today’s top whines.
She wanted to try bread in Whole Foods. I got her bread. It wasn’t big enough. “Want BIGGER BREAD!”
She wanted a bandaid on a graze on her toe. Socks and shoes went over the top. She wanted to pull her shoes and socks in the playground off to see the bandaid.
Couldn’t find Anna. Found Anna. Couldn’t find Anna’s dress. Found Anna’s dress. Couldn’t find Elsa’s dress. Found it! Can’t put either dress on. “BROKEN!!!”
Scooting was too hard. “NO MORE SCOOT!”
Breakfast was her usual favourite, Cheerios and milk, and strawberries. “DON’T LIKE CEREAL!” (Dramatic hand sweeping motion.) “DON’T LIKE BUBBIES! (Crap. Now what am I going to feed her?)
Wanted to take Anna and Elsa dolls to preschool. Told her they’d get lost so they needed to stay home. “NOOOOOOOO ANNA ELSAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Charges around the living room holding onto Anna and Else for dear life. Dolls need to be (lovingly) removed by force. Whining turns into crying.
A lady on the street admired her Cinderella dress. “DON’T LOOK AT MEEEEEE!”
Didn’t want to push the button to call the elevator, so I pushed it instead. “BUT I WANTED TO PUSH ITTTTTTTTT!”
I gave her Cheddar Bunnies and she wanted Gold Fish. THEY’RE THE SAME THING!
She did a poo in her nappy and I tried to change it. “DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH MEEEEE!!!!”
Toddlers, yay! Now someone please pass me the wine.